Peran Ibu Dalam Pendidikan Anak Dalam Islam
Peran Ibu Dalam Pendidikan Anak Dalam Islam
Di balik pria yang agung ada wanita agung di belakangnya
Demikianlah kata orang bijak tempo dulu. Jika ada lelaki yang menjadi ulama cendikia, tokoh ternama, atau pahlawan ksatria, lihatlah siapa ibu mereka. Karena Ibu memiliki peran besar dalam membentuk watak, karakter, dan pengetahuan seseorang.
Ibu adalah ustadzah pertama, sebelum si kecil berguru kepada ustadz besar sekalipun
Maka kecerdasan, keuletan, dan perangai sang ibu adalah faktor dominan bagi masa depan anak. Termasuk juga ibu susu [1]. Karenanya RasulullahShallallahu’alaihi Wasallam melarang para orang tua menyusukan bayi mereka pada wanita yang lemah akal. Karena air susu dapat mewariskan sifat-sifat ibu pada si bayi [2].
Dalam kitab Ar Raudhul Unuf disebutkan bahwa persusuan itu seperti hubungan darah (nasab), ia dapat mempengaruhi watak seseorang. Kemudian penulisnya menyitir sebuah hadits dari ‘Aisyah radhiallahu’anha secara marfu’: “Janganlah kalian menyusukan bayi kalian kepada wanita bodoh, karena air susu akan mewariskan sifat sang ibu” [3].
Salah seorang sahabat Nabi yang bernama Aktsam bin Shaifi radhiallahu’anhupernah berwasiat kepada kaumnya. Diantaranya ia mengatakan,
أوصيكم بتقوى الله، وصلة الرحم ؛ فإنه لا يبلى عليهما أصل، ولا يهتصر عليهما فرع، وإياكم ونكاح الحمقاء ؛فإن صحبتها قذر
“Aku wasiatkan kepada kalian agar senantiasa bertaqwa kepada Allah dan menyambung tali silaturahmi. Dengan keduanya akar (keimanan) akan selalu tegak, dan cabangnya tak akan bengkok. Hati-hatilah kalian jangan sampai menikahi wanita yang dungu, karena hidup bersamanya adalah kenistaan” [4]
Memang demikianlah faktanya; wanita dungu hanya akan merepotkan suaminya, sulit dididik dan sukar diatur. Anaknya pun akan terlantar dan salah asuhan.
Pernah suatu ketika ada seorang bapak yang mengeluh kepada Amirul Mukminin Umar bin Khathab radhiallahu’anhu mengenai anaknya yang durhaka. Orang itu mengatakan bahwa putranya selalu berkata kasar kepadanya dan sering kali memukulnya. Maka Umar pun memanggil anak itu dan memarahinya.
“Celaka engkau! Tidakkah engkau tahu bahwa durhaka kepada orang tua adalah dosa besar yang mengundang murka Allah?”, bentak Umar.
“Tunggu dulu, wahai Amirul Mukminin. Jangan tergesa-gesa mengadiliku. Jikalau memang seorang ayah memiliki hak terhadap anaknya, bukankah si anak juga punya hak terhadap ayahnya”, tanya si anak.
“Benar”, jawab Umar. “Lantas apa hak anak terhadap ayahnya tadi”, lanjut si anak.
“Ada tiga”, jawab Umar. “Pertama, hendaklah ia memilih calon ibu yang baik bagi putranya. Kedua, hendaklah ia menamainya dengan nama yang baik. Dan ketiga, hendaknya ia mengajarinya menghafal Al Qur’an”.
Maka si anak mengatakan, “ketahuilah wahai Amirul Mukminin, ayahku tidak pernah melakukan satu pun dari tiga hal tersebut. Ia tidak memilih calon ibu yang baik bagiku, ibuku adalah hamba sahaya jelek berkulit hitam yang dibelinya dari pasar seharga 2 dirham. Lalu malamnya ia gauli sehingga hamil mengandungku. Setelah aku lahir pun ayah menamaiku Ju’al [5], dan ia tidak pernah mengajariku menghafal Al Qur’an walau seayat!”.
“Pergi sana! Kaulah yang mendurhakainya sewaktu kecil, pantas kalau ia durhaka kepadamu sekarang”, bentak Umar kepada ayahnya [6].
Begitulah, ibu memiliki peran begitu besar dalam menentukan masa depan si kecil. Ibu, dengan kasih sayangnya yang tulus, merupakan tambatan hati bagi si kecil dalam menapaki masa depannya. Di sisinya lah si kecil mendapatkan kehangatan. Senyuman dan belaian tangan ibu akan mengobarkan semangatnya. Jari-jemari lembut yang senantiasa menengadah ke langit, teriring doa yang tulis dan deraian air mata bagi si buh hati, ada kunci kesuksesannya di hari esok.
Dalam Siyar-nya, Adz Dzahabi mengisahkan dari Muhammad bin Ahmad bin Fadhal Al Balkhi, ia mendengar ayahnya mengatakan bahwa kedua mata Imam Al Bukhari sempat buta semasa kanak-kanak. Namun pada suatu malam, ibunya bermimpi bahwa ia berjumpa dengan Nabi Ibrahim. Nabi Ibrahim berkata kepadanya, “Hai Ibu, sesungguhnya Allah telah berkenan mengembalikan penglihatan anakmu karena cucuran air mata dan banyaknya doa yang kau panjatkan kepada-Nya“. Maka setelah kami periksa keesokan harinya ternyata penglihatan Al Bukhari benar-benar telah kembali [7].
—
Catatan Kaki
[1] Yakni wanita yang menyusui anak orang lain, hingga secara syar’i ia menjadi mahram bagi sang anak seperti ibu kandungnya sendiri. Semua keluarga wanita ini juga otomatis jadi mahram bagi sang anak; baik itu suaminya, anaknya, saudaranya, orang tuanya, pamannya, bibinya, dan seterusnya. Sedang dari pihak anak, yang menjadi mahram bagi ibu susunya ialah keturunan dari sang anak yang disusui saja.
[2] HR. Al Baihaqi dalam Sunanul Kubra 7/464 dari Zaid As Sahmi, secara mursal dengan lafadz,
نهى رسولُ اللهِ صلَّى اللهُ عليه وسلَّمَ أن تُسترضَعَ الحَمْقاءُ فإنَّ اللَّبنَ يشبِه
Namun ada hadits-hadits lain yang menjadi syawahid atas hadits di atas, seperti yang diriwayatkan oleh Ath Thabrani dalam Al Mu’jamul Ausath, 1/68 hadits no. 65, dari Ibnu Umar radhiallahu’anhu dengan lafadz,
أنَّ رسولَ اللهِ نهى عن رَضاعِ الحَمقاءِ
“Bahwasanya Rasulullah melarang untuk menyusukan anak kepada wanita yang bodoh”
Juga dalam Al Mu’jam Ash Shaghir 1/140 hadits no. 137 dari Aisyahradhiallahu’anha dengan lafadz,
لا تَسْتَرْضِعُوا الْوَرْهَاءَ ” ، قَالَ الأَصْمَعِيُّ : سَمِعْتُ يُونُسَ بْنَ حَبِيبٍ ، يَقُولُ : الْوَرْهَاءُ : الْحَمْقَاءُ
“jangan kalian menyusukan (bayi kalian) kepada wanita yang warha‘”. Al Ashma’i berkata: ‘aku mendengar Yunus bin Habib berkata bahwa warha‘ itu artinya dungu’
Dengan syawahid tadi insya Allah hadits di atas menjadi hasan li ghairihi, wallahu a’lam.
[3] Bab Syarh Hadits Ar Radha’ah, 1/285.
[4] Ma’rifatus Shahabah karya Abu Nu’aim Al Ashbahani, 3/385.
[5] Ju’al adalah sejenis kumbang yang selalu bergumul pada kotoran hewan. Bisa juga diartikan sebagai orang yang berkulit hitam dan berparas jelek (mirip kumbang) atau orang yang emosional (lihat Al Qamus Al Muhith, hal. 977)
[6] Disadur dari khutbah Syaikh Dr. Muhammad Al Arifi, Masuliyatur rajuli fii usratihi.
[7] Siyar A’lamin Nubala, 3/3324, cet. Baitul Afkar Ad Duwaliyah
***
Disalin dari buku “Ibunda Para Ulama“, karya Ust Sufyan Baswedan Lc., MA. hal.9-13, penerbit Wafa Press
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